journeling is good! I still have like a pen and paper journel its so healing for me. how many of you still have one that you hand write in?

have you ever journeled about journeling?

Do you ever get tired of waiting? seems like we are always waiting on something huh?

i'm trying to focus on the hear and now...today and living for the day.

i used to think...my life will begin when...????

But you know what my friends my life is now...i'm patiently waiting on nothing!

i went to the beach for the weekend ( Easter) and Life was good at the Beach.

Laying in the sand, filling the suns warmth on my skin, hearing  the roar of the ocean waves...wow!

To think we serve a God who created such beauty for us to enjoy!

In reality life is good here too.

Ok Girls...remind me i've committed my dating life to the Lord and i'm not dating for 6mos. Remind me.

Background : i was set up on a blind date in December. We went out 1 time...only once. And he decided that we should just part company and not stay in touch...i was bummed because i did like him and i had a good time. so i had a quick cry and got over it.

Our mutual friend who set us up - she works at the bank that me and the guy bank work at - anyway i didnt tell her much other than "he" decided to part company.

Last Thursday, I go to to Lunch with a friend and lo and behold- I run into "him" Hadnt seen him since our date in December so what almost 3 mos.

We speak and are friendly but i didnt really think anything of it.

Well, yesterday i check my email and i have a message from "him" it says something to the effect of "it was great to bump into you...you look great. and i hope you are well. i cant imagine what you are thinking but if you would like to go out I would too call me"

So I respond and say " yes it was a nice suprise to see you, sure I'd like to go out agian but you call me"

Well today I'm meeting our mutual friend for lunch and we both get there and each get a table. I'm waiting on her and she on me...she calls me and says jusy wanted to let you know i'm at a table in the back. I say ok and as  I'm getting  up to go find her. "He" walks up we speak and all then I say did you get my email He says yeah and I say well ok call me...he said ok - i gotta go now though i'm with a guest...ok i say

When I see my friend she's like Oh my goodness- I just saw "Him" I said yeah i did too and smiled and i to proceed to tell her about last week how i saw him he emailed etc...and she proceeds to say Well Crap! I hope i didnt screw anything up I told him you were on your way and he needed to leave cause it would be awkard...i was like Oh well... i just wonder if i'll hear from him??

do you think i will?but it doesnt matter right? no dating for now 5 mos...

to be continued....if there is more to tell

of an unhealthy relationship.  I had a friend ask me recently " Kimberley- how did you let go of your marriage- how did you know it was time, what steps did you take toward healing.

She is struggling  in a dead- in  unhealithy realtionship, the guy treats her like crap is abusing her mentally and emotionally- she knows this but yet she says why do i keep coming back for more.

She says that she feels like if she were to walk away or give up- she's be giving up on love...i tried to explain to her that what she is experiencing isnt love and if she were to give up and let go of this relationship than she could ultimately open herself up to the freedom of experiencing what love really is.

Easier said than done right, when your heart, time and emotions are invested and embedded in another person you cant see clearly. But yet she asks how can i let go, walk away break free. i feel like i'm addicted to him. like he needs me and i can help him...but its been fours years and nothing...he gives her just enough to keep her coming back for more.

Why do we as girls allow this? How can we stop the cycle? What would you tell her.

To answer her original question though how did i let go of my marriage how did i know it was time? the decision was made for me and had no choice but to heal and move on...but i saw it as a second chance to have a do-over.

I have had break-ups that were harder on me than the divorce was i know that sounds crazy...but true

and in talking with my friend I felt empowered not to take anymore crap from  men...i ( we) as women deserve to be treated better. I want to start demanding more respect. Not to allow myself to be strung along and to realize hey you know what i dont have to settle. I'm not desparate. I dont have to sit around and wait...for a text message. I can stand up right now and decide i dont want that and i can call the shots not wait for him too. Until I'm convenient for him.

I think while i was talking to her I was giving mt own self a much needed pep talk! What are your thoughts?